Lo Shem Alef
Those familiar with Hebrew will know that this little characters name means ' No Name One'. This is probably the name you would have got if where named by the American Native people and you really had no name!
"Hey, No-name-one!"
Yes he or shall I talk about 'it' to prevent any sexist comments..? No, I'll stick to he, came with a load of fire wood from a talented sculptor and friend, Daniel Sohdi-Miles. Dan however did not really comprehend at the time that I just cannot let things go - especially a half little man that stood there with some sort of laid-back arrogance - telling me he's so much more than just a piece of fire wood. Yes, he actually told me he is a 'god'!
Well, I felt really sorry for him. He did not look like a god at all. He looked more like a sophisticated piece of fire wood. But never ever let a piece of fire wood with an attitude find out that he does not look like a god. It might cause spontaneous combustion, which isn't something you want your fire wood to do, unless they do it only when you want to light your fire - which would really be a time saver and if you can patent it you'll make more money than Bill!
I took pity or the poor little guy and kept him in my workshop standing in a spot where he could watch me doing my thing - you know, giving him more confidence that I really serious at what I'm doing. It's like having the opportunity of observing a dentist before you go and sit in the sacrificial chair to take your share of pain.
Slowly but surely his confidence started to grow and I could sense a warm glow of trust radiating from his dried little wooden body. It was such a great feeling - it was winter and my hands were freezing!
Then one day I gabbed him, held him down with my one imaginary hand and used my two real hands to attach a couple of god-like appendixes to his wooden body. I had to works fast - the spontaneous combustion issue see!
He might think, "Hey, what the hell are doing to me?"
"Don't you now that I'm a god?"
He might then notice the sombre stare of my welding helmet and he might just start to doubt his godly being and before you know it, a good piece of fire wood burns in the wrong place and it might become an out of control fire in no time!
I however did it - some precision welding, some precision grinding, some precision drilling, some precision screwing (don't laugh, I'm being serious) and some precision varnishing and look at him - a real god!
Well OK, he is sure he's a real god now and no blank stare from my welding helmet will make him think otherwise!
To get him to his self-acclaimed status of 'god' I have attached a fitting head - old log splitting tool - I think and several ribs from a car coil spring and there he is!
Thanks for reading - I'll have to go and have a 'godly'-nap now!
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